This blog has taken me wayyyyy too long to write.
It’s quite clear that I have been avoiding it at all costs. It’s not that it wasn’t important to me or I didn’t have the time. When it is important you find the time, period. I was letting my fear creep in and hold me back. Afraid of a blog, how truly silly. I’ve been avoiding this uncomfortable emotion, that is clearly self inflicted. Then, I decided I wasn’t going to let my FEAR win. What am I so afraid of ??
“Being vulnerable, rejected, judged, criticized, or seen as invalid. I thought, how weak are you?? You’re a phony, here you are encouraging women to overcome challenges and face their fears. And you can’t even write a blog… a blog. It’s not like someone is forcing me to write a blog, this is something you wanted to do.” — the voices inside my head.
But deep down I know this fear has nothing even to do with the blog, it’s about me being afraid to put whole self out there. To be vulnerable. I would way rather promote others than myself. When I changed my attitude… because it’s not about me promoting myself. It’s about using my story to help others over come their fears or struggles. Because we ALL have them. Truth is, I wouldn’t be where I am today if I let my fears consume me. I am in fact, quite fearless when it comes to BIG life changes or chances. But it’s the little things that are self inflicted, that hold me back well us all back. I didn’t just wake up one day in California running a women’s empowerment movement. I am solely responsible for how I got to this point in my life. All of my challenges, values, triumphs, experiences, influences, and heartache have made me who I am. Why would I not want to share that with other women? If I truly want to make a difference in the world, I need to be vulnerable and put it ALL out there.
This whole time, I was thinking I was making an impact by always putting positive vibes out there. It’s simple math really. Positive + Positive = Positive and Negative + Negative = Negative.
Seems logical, but that isn’t where the good stuff happens. The magic happens when you take a negative situation, add enough positive mojo to make the situation into a positive. Now this just doesn’t happen by luck. It’s your mindset, your ability to see the good in all things. I have struggles, fears, and want to be better everyday as we all do. We all have ups and downs, it’s called life. But it’s time to let the trials and tribulations shine through. To give my entire journey justice, not just pieces of it. I want to share my WHOLE HEARTED story because it’s messy and beautiful at the same time. I find serenity in chaos. Through all my failures or struggles (there’s a lot) I have created a Women’s Movement called Femme Royale, which gives me purpose and a platform to make a difference.
So why a BLOG? Because you can actually dive into a deeper realm then just glancing at a photo with a blurb. Social media is today’s culture. Every week there is a new tool or app… facebook to instagram to vine to periscope to twitter to blogs to snapchat there’s a million different ways to connect. Yet why do we all feel so disconnected? Because Social media is NOT real. It’s a facade for everyone to promote and express themselves in a way they want to be perceived. If used properly it can positively influence your audience across the globe, but can also have a negative impact as well. Always seeking validation from others, comparing ourselves to others, major FOMO or lack of real communication. This isn’t how I want to live. If I want to be an authentic, genuine person in real life and I need to be one online as well. But I can’t be authentic if I am only telling one side of my story… that’s like making a sandwich with only the bread (gluten free of course). The best part of the sandwich is the fixings in the middle, that’s what makes the sandwich a sandwich. Otherwise you’re just eating bread. I want to use this blog as a platform to help other women find purpose even through the messes of life. I hope to inspire others to go out and make a difference in the world no matter your situation. Your fate is completely up to you. But it all starts with your mindset, and overcoming your FEARS. So after I post this blog, I have taken action on overcoming my fears. Phew, step one done.
Step two next blog… The meaning behind Femme Royale… so stay tuned!